As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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