escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize