Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
