i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Everything about him screamed your future.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
