Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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