Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
