the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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