We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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