No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Welp...herpes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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