first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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