shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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