I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
