my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
