He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
