never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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