New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
