someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize