can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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