i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
