remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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