there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
