To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
