she looked like the before picture.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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