My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how does that bad decision feel?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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