i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
