Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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