So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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