I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
