Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
