I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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