I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
