she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize