I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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