You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent