i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
