My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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