I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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