At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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