Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
