I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
