yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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