Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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