Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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