is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
