I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
