Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
