Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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