We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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