She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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