the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize