just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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