I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You are a genius and a whore.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
