where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
