I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
