i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
