hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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