Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
