it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
