I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
