its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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