He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So many bounce houses so little time
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
